Recently a contract has been making the rounds on Chinese forums and gaming sites, its purpose being to assist those long-maligned wives and girlfriends (and significant others of any gender) to the Dotaholics amongst us. Is it tongue in cheek? Perhaps somewhat, but game addiction can be a serious issue, though some may say this contract takes away too much and gives too little. Either way, an interesting look into the eternal struggle between those who game, and those next to them…

CONTRACT:

Party A name:

Party B name:

The two parties in this contract are of a close relationship, one of significant others. In order to encourage and supervise a meaningful transition from addiction to the game called Dota (Defense of the Ancients, a custom map for the real time strategy game Warcraft 3 developed by Blizzard) for party A in his or her remaining years of health and life, this contract has been examined and constructed with assistance from legal services, and stands as an agreement made in equal power and willingness between the two parties involved.

I.

Purpose and goals

Both parties are in agreement in their belief, that this contract will contribute to party A’s career advancement, make improvements in party A’s spinal health, as well as party A’s future personal growth, and the two parties’ mutual emotional growth and building of a future life together. It is agreed that in these realms, this contract will serve many positives, and not a single negative.

II.

Implementation

1. Due to party A’s addiction being of a long-standing nature, it is understood that it is not merely a day’s work in resolving the matter. Thus, party B agrees that in the month following the signing of this contract, B will spend time with A and encourage A to study, learn, exercise, participate in housework, and other casual activities, the overall goal being to partake in a shared joy in such activities outside of work.

2. Party B may, in the circumstance of needing to stay late at work for meetings, etc, notify party A by phone or text message, and thus be absolved of that day’s duties in spending time together.

3. In the case that party A, due to not being able to play games, becomes depressed, anxious, angst-ridden, or delirious, party B should approach the matter with compassion and understanding, and make efforts to shift A’s mindset and mental focus. In no case may B apply sarcastic or nonchalant attitudes toward A.

4. Party A is often invited to play Dota by a group of good-for-nothing friends, such as Zhou, Fang, Huang Wei, Du Wei, etc. In these cases, party B may reject their advances on the spot, and party A may not disagree.

III

Punishments

1. In case party B cannot maintain their side of the contract, and fails to spend time with party A each day after work and on weekends, and party A goes back to playing Dota, then the contract will renew itself in the following month(s).

2. In the case that party B fulfills all duties and obligations, yet party A still sees no improvement, party B has the right to take actions including but not limited to the following:

a. Pull the internet cord; turn off power source; smash computer

b. Ignore party A, including all communications such as face to face, QQ; refuse to do laundry and cook for party A

c. Report to party A’s parents

IV.

Other notes

1. During party A’s no-Dota period, party B may not watch such low-brow television shows such as [soap opera] or [dating show]. Once party A has successfully overcome Dota addiction, then party B may go back to freely partaking in such entertainment.

2. Two laptop computers are shared between the two parties. One HP laptop, one Hasee laptop. The HP laptop is capable of playing Dota. Therefore, during this period, the HP laptop will be taken to the office by party B, with the Hasee laptop left at home for party B to use in learning, self-improvement, and casual entertainment.

V.

During the contract period, additional contractual lines may be agreed upon and added, and will have the same level of effect.

This contract will exist in two copies, wherein the contract takes effect upon signatures and fingerprints applied from both parties.

Party A signed:

Party B signed: